Removing the Veil of Self

This past few weeks has been a whirlwind of emotion as I am having conversations with families and church staff about ministry growth, preparing for a wedding, planning youth events, and seeking to follow God better in my own life. I have read or am in the process of reading about seven different books, all with a different focus, but this past week God seemed to bring everything together.

From the conversations last weekend with the parents and all the wisdom that is being poured into our hearts and our leadership, most of us have come to the same conclusion. Christ wants us to be disciples and as such to spread the good news to the world. This is no easy calling and it requires radical obedience to him. I wrote a few months ago about the cost of discipleship, but God has recently revealed to me the one thing that hinders us most from pursuing Him.

I was reading A.W. Tozer's classic, The Pursuit of God, with the associate pastor and was convicted by the truth Tozer shared. The third chapter of his book is called "removing the veil." He firmly believe that our experience with God must born of the spirit. He quote St. Augustine, "thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless, until they find rest in Thee." We were created in God's image for His purposes. We learn to be like him and to love Him only because he first loved us (1 John 4). We can't in all our efforts create a spiritual encounter with God. it must come from Him, but Tozer explains that many of us "are satisfied to rest in our judicial possessions and, for the most part, we bother ourselves very little about the absence of personal experience." He goes on to say later that this:

"The world is perishing for lack of the knowledge of God and the church is famishing for want of His presence. The instant cure of most of our religious ills would be to enter the Presence in spiritual experience, to become suddenly aware that we are in God and that God is in us ."

Most of us fear to be in the presence of the Lord, because everything in us will have to be brought into the light (Ephesians 5:1-20).  We will have to surrender ourselves to His will. This is the hardest thing for us to do, to deny ourselves and follow him. The message that God put on my heart  was at the end of this chapter when Tozer says, "Self is the opaque veil that hides the face of God from us. It can removed only in spiritual experience, never by mere instruction."

Love of ourselves is a sin that we can hide from the world. On the outside we can appear humble and confident, but our thoughts and the reasons why you make the decisions we do or take the actions we take can be hidden from all except God. It will hinder us from seeing what God is doing in our lives and the lives of those around us. Christ tells us we must deny ourselves if we want to be disciples (Matthew 16:24-25) and we are all called to be disciples and to spread the good news to the world.

Ask God to reveal Himself to you not just through teaching and instruction but through a real encounter with his power and strength. Seek him with all you have. It won't be easy, but it is necessary for your life and those around you.

 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." (Matthew 7:13-14)

Worship at the Altar(s)

I have been thinking lately about worship and talked specifically about music in worship recently. In that post I mentioned that worship is really about how we live our lives. I traveled this weekend to a place of worship and God was working on my heart as I considered what it means to worship Him, to remember the places in my life where I felt truly alive in Him.

The Old Testament is full of stories where God's people built altars to honor what the Lord had done at that place: when God called Abram (Gen 12:1-9);at the foot of Mt. Sinai where Moses confirms his covenant with the Lord (Ex. 24); David to stop a plague in Israel (2 Sam. 24:18-25) and many other places of reverence. God actually commands the Israelites to put an altar "...wherever I cause my name to be honored, I will come to you and bless you (Ex 20:24)." Others see the altars set up by their ancestors as reminders and worship the Lord for what he had done for them. These altars became sacred space, holy ground, reminders of the glory of God.

I had the chance to visit the camp where I was saved as a teen and worked at in college this past weekend and I couldn't help but feel like I was walking on holy ground. Camp was covered in snow and I was overwhelmed by the cleansing that God showered on me through that place. I stood and looked out from the place where I shared my testimony for the first time, where I wrote down my sins on a piece of paper and one by one threw them into the fire as a symbol of my decision to never go back to who I was before Christ was a part of my life. I glanced over the field and walked by the cabins where, as a counselor, I sang the same silly songs, played the same games, and listened to the same story  week after week as lives were transformed. Christ allowed me to be a part of the His walk in the lives of so many youth. It was an incredibly beautiful weekend.

I have had many experiences like those since then in my own life and see Christ in the lives of others and this weekend I began to think of those times and places as altars to honor what the Lord as done. They are places where many will go after me and continue to worship Him and to share in His glory, to build their own altars there. They also serve as places where I can go back and be reminded.  I believe that God delights in our worship at all times and he reminds us of the places we have been so that we can go forth with confidence in what he is able to do, so we can build more altars and worship Him at the altars of our brothers and sisters who have gone before us.

I pray that there are moments in your life where you can look back and see how the Lord has worked in your life. I also pray that he provides you with every opportunity to see his love in your life and throughout the world. If you find yourself in a dark time in your life, try to remember what God has shown you in the light. He is faithful to complete his work in you (Phil. 1:6)

More Than a Song

I love to worship. It's in worship that I feel most alive and full. My favorite time to worship is right after church or youth group because I'm excited about what God is doing and I want to hold on to the experience and hear his voice whisper in my hear. Sometimes I'll go into the sanctuary and worship at the top of my lungs consumed and surrounded by the presence of God.

Pause.

What am I talking about? What does it mean to worship? This is the question that has been wrenching at my heart, well, for at least the last five years. I grew up going to church often, but not all the time. We moved around a little, but most of my experience was singing hymns to a piano or organ. When I was in high school, our church started a praise team that played what I now call "old contemporary."  When I entered college, I learned what Contemporary Christian music was. I played guitar for three different praise teams and we played it all Chris Tomlin, Hillsong, Israel Houghton, Getty and Townend, some of the "old contemporary,"  and plenty of others and I loved it. God was reshaping my life at the end of high school and through college and music was my outlet. As a camp counselor and worship leader, I grew a heart for worship. I was on worship teams and I lead worship, and I loved worship.

Worship according to Dictionary.com is defined as reverent honor or homage paid to God or a sacred object. Our pastor spoke this past week about idolatry in the ways we worship. Churches divide and people leave because the church sings a different way or uses different instruments. Worship is defined in my limited experience as singing. I believe singing is certainly worship, but it's so much more than that. We idolize a style of worship and begin to praise the worship rather than the God we are to worship, the created over the creator. John Koessler stated this way in the March issue of Christianity Today:

"We think of worship as something that originates with us, our gift to God. Perhaps this is why so many of us are conflicted about it. We consider worship to be an expression of our personal devotion. So when the musical style or some expression gets in the way, we don't feel like it is our worship at all. It is someone else's idea of worship. Perhaps the worship leader's or that of the majority. But not our own....The biblical portrait of worship moves in the opposite direction. The trajectory of heavenly worship begins with God and descends to earth. This trajectory is reflected in Psalm 150, where praise begins in the heavenly sanctuary and resounds throughout the domain of God. From there it is taken up by those on earth, who praise God with a variety of instruments and dancing, until 'everything that has breath' praises the Lord (Ps. 150:6)."

Koessler is still talking about music here, but brings up challenging thought: worship isn't about us. It's about God and when we enter into worship, we aren't stirring up something, we are joining with all creation and with choirs of angels as we stand before the throne and it's more than voices being lifted up. The Psalmist wasn't singing the way we sing hymns or with a guitar, but few would argue that it wasn't genuine worship. Worship is about how we live our lives. It's about where our heart is when we enter the sanctuary and when we turn to go into the world. How do we show "reverent honor" to God?

In order to worship with "everything that has breath", I sometimes have to put my assumptions and criticisms aside because every worship leader, hymn writer, dancer, poet, and artist sits before God and says "God, how can you use me?" They offer their life up to the Lord and the Spirit pours out on His people and all creation joins in and worships the creator. It's a beautiful picture when we all join in one song not just with our voice but with our lives. God doesn't need us to worship Him, but we can delight in being a part of a greater story as we sing and dance and move and breathe.

We worship when we sing or dance. We worship when we pray and when we share the Gospel. We worship when we sit in church and hear the voice of God speak into our lives through scripture, liturgy and sermons, as we give our offering. We worship when we listen to a friend or sit around the table with our families. Our lives are full of opportunities to honor God, to truly worship Him, to join in with all creation.

I long to worship him forever, because it's in true worship that we feel most alive and full because the world looks different. We see the brokenness and we know that God is coming to reconcile all things back to him, that there will be no more division. Every tongue will confess that He is God and that will be more than enough.

"Everything You Do Teaches"

"Everything you do teaches." This phrase totally changed my life. I don't say that with any expectation that you will have the same experience but I hope it will encourage you to think about how your actions an inactions affect those around you.

I was in college in one of the Christian Education courses with a wise professor that I never appreciated until it was all said and done. She told the class early on that "everything you do teaches." At the time, I didn't think much of it, but as God pulled me into ministry and made me more aware of how my actions effected other people, I realized that everything we do teaches.

Everything we do or don't do tells someone else about who we are from the way we speak, the way that we respond to situations, the way we choose to spend our time, etc. What we do in secret effects who we are and what we teach as well. How much time we spend in prayer and in the word, how much we give, how much we hide in our personal relationships, what we do with our free time, etc. also teaches because it effects who we are in the world.

As a youth director, I'm often presented with these teaching moments. If a youth comes to me and shares something that is on their heart, I have a many decisions to make. Am I looking them in the eye and giving them my full attention. How do I respond to what they are sharing? Do I brush it off or do I take the time to pray with them and help them find the tools to best handle their situation. Do they feel valued and loved? Sometimes I do well and other times I drop the ball, but my decision in those moments will teach that youth something about how much their life is valued to someone else. We all are faced with these teaching moments, whether we are aware of it or not.

We are given specific instruction as to what our lives should teach through God's word. In Phillipians 2:6-8 Paul tells us our attitudes should be like Christ:

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!

In Matthew 5:48, he tells us to be perfect, or in some translations holy, just as our Father in Heaven.  We are called to love him with all our heart, soul, and mind and to love our neighbors and enemies. Everything we speak, do, and don't do should come from a heart and an attitude that bears the light of Christ to the world. We will fail, but every failure is an opportunity to share the meaning of grace.

How is your life teaching those around you who God is in your life? What are some areas you could work on?

More of You

I hate money. I hate talking about it. I hate spending it. I hate how much it costs to maintain cars and apartments. Mostly I hate how much of it I spend on things that just won't last, food, vehicle, rent, etc. It's my least favorite thing to talk about, so needless to say when I hear it from the pulpit on Sunday morning, I think "here we go again." It was a troubling especially for me in college when I had a small income and I was attending a church that gave very willingly. It was the topic of many sermons and God always provided without my help. The idea of tithing never struck me so deeply as it has recently.

I attended my first congregational meeting at the church I am currently working at this past week and it was a real eye opener. The topic of discussion was the proposed budget for 2011 and the cost of the new building. Members of the church had differing opinions about how much we are spending and how well the church is being a steward of the money given.

Two things struck me at this meeting. The first was the comments from our head pastor. He told the congregation that it's not how much we're spending (as long as we are spending within the places God has placed on our heart and not flippantly), it's about our heart to give.  The second thing that struck me was a question raised by one of the members of the church. First, I have no beef with this question. It just made me think. This member probably gives more than ten percent and I have served beside this member and they have a strong heart for the Lord. The member asked something along the lines "How much will you ask us to give?" in reference to fund raisers and the building campaign, but at this moment, I thought about if we asked God that question?

As much as I complain about money and spending it. I keep an awful lot and spend an awful lot and give very little to causes other than myself. The first time I thought about tithing after entering this new position, I thought that it was a ludicrous amount to give when I am paying rent, insurance, student loans, groceries, etc. Then I looked at my spending over the last few months. I'll open up a bit with you. I gave about $70 to charity and spent more than double that at restaurants when I didn't feel like cooking. If I just didn't eat out and gave that money to God. I would be pretty close to ten percent.

My conviction wasn't just about money. When the church member asked how much more we should give, the answer that God dropped almost immediately in my heart was - more. Jesus asks for our lives. The money that we are given, the roof over our heads, the love that we receive from our friends and family, the very breath you just took in are all gifts from our Creator. Acts 17:24-25 (emphasis added) says:

 'The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else"

Nothing that we have is our own from the moment we are born. We have made the decision to try and take it from God's hands. Our culture tells us to look after ourselves. Make sure you have the best house and car and a lot of money so we can buy nice things and go on nice vacations, but Jesus lived radically different. Jesus says: 

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. ~ Luke 14:26-27

I don't believe he is saying to absolutely hate your family, but in order to follow me you must give up everything, wealth, family, fear, pride, independence, the world. He wants your life, not because he wants to take it away from you, but because it's already his. He wants you to have the fullness of the life you are given. Jesus knows how we are meant to live, but we are trying to run the show. It's like we are trying to drive down the road from the passenger seat without the keys to the car. We won't get anywhere.

Jesus wants our entire being. He wants us to give up everything to follow him. One of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 5:49 - "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Some translations say be holy. To be perfect means to be made complete in Christ, lacking nothing. This is only obtained through a relationship with Christ and it will never be reached while we remain in our earthly bodies. How much should you give? The answer will always be more. There will always be something that you haven't given fully to God. It might be letting go of a certain sin, of fear, of a desire to be a part of the crowd, of money, but ultimately he wants your entire life, because it belongs to Him. Our money belongs to Him. Our relationships belong to Him. Our sin he already carried on his back. Christ offers us the chance to be made complete and to live out the life he has created us for. Jesus says:

 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ~ Matt. 6:19-21

 God dwells within our hearts and provides a treasure that is eternal. Nothing on this earth will last. I challenge you this week to think about the areas in your life that you haven't given fully to God and pray for Him to take it away from so that you may more fully embrace the life he has for you. For me it's money and probably a bunch of other things, but I will start there. If your comfortable sharing, comment on the link on facebook or below about what you need to give up and we can encourage one another. I talked about a similar concept in The Cost if you want to check that out. Have a blessed day!

Living as a Temple

Normally I preface my thoughts with a story from the last few days or something that has always been on my mind but what I have to share today is a new revelation or maybe an old one that never came to the surface. This is something God placed on my heart last week and I shared it with the youth, but I think it could have meaning for all of us.

First I want you to consider what "church" means to you. I don't mean just the church building or what you do on Sunday mornings, but church as a whole, what does it mean to you? When I was growing up church often felt like school. There was a teacher and I was in a classroom listening to them lecture to me about something I would forget as soon as the test was over. Some people are great students in school and of the Word, but I wasn't in the category and still struggle a bit to engage in church. This had me wondering what the purpose of church (being a part of the body of Christ, attending church, reading the Bible, etc)  really was.

When I presented this question before God, He took me back to what I will call the "first church." The church today is a sacred structure built to be a place where we can glorify God with our praise and worship. The first structure built to honor God was the ark of the covenant and it was housed in a tent. Only leaders were allowed to enter the tent because the glory of the Lord was too much for anyone else to experience. They presented their sacrifices to the Lord and trusted their leaders to guide them. This is how the Lord dwelt among His people and this is the way things were until David and Solomon.

During David's reign it was customary for king's to live in temples. David has this revelation during of his reign as King: “Here I am, living in a house of cedar, while the ark of God remains in a tent” (2 Samuel 7:2). Nathan initially tells him to go ahead and why not. David wants to thank the Lord and glorify him for what he has done for David, but the Lord says:

 “Go and tell my servant David, ‘This is what the LORD says: Are you the one to build me a house to dwell in? I have not dwelt in a house from the day I brought the Israelites up out of Egypt to this day. I have been moving from place to place with a tent as my dwelling. Wherever I have moved with all the Israelites, did I ever say to any of their rulers whom I commanded to shepherd my people Israel, “Why have you not built me a house of cedar?”’

“Now then, tell my servant David, ‘This is what the LORD Almighty says: I took you from the pasture, from tending the flock, and appointed you ruler over my people Israel. I have been with you wherever you have gone, and I have cut off all your enemies from before you. Now I will make your name great, like the names of the greatest men on earth. And I will provide a place for my people Israel and will plant them so that they can have a home of their own and no longer be disturbed. Wicked people will not oppress them anymore, as they did at the beginning and have done ever since the time I appointed leaders over my people Israel. I will also give you rest from all your enemies.

“‘The LORD declares to you that the LORD himself will establish a house for you: When your days are over and you rest with your ancestors, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, your own flesh and blood, and I will establish his kingdom. He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be his father, and he will be my son. When he does wrong, I will punish him with a rod wielded by men, with floggings inflicted by human hands. But my love will never be taken away from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you. Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever’”(2 Samuel 7:5-16).

David accepted this and scripture goes on to tell us that Solomon builds a temple for the Lord, but I believe God is talking about the eternal in this passage. It is Jesus Christ who establishes "the throne of his kingdom forever." He was from the bloodline of David and he was punished for our sin by the hands of men because God loved us enough to send his son. The Lord desired to always be among his people. He wasn't meant to dwell in a tent forever, but he also didn't intend to be harnessed in a temple either. The temple of the living God was to be sent down in human form.

Jesus came to the earth as a living temple sent to Glorify his Father in heaven, but God didn't intend to stay forever in human form either. Jesus came to establish the throne of God's Kingdom on earth and to free us from our sin and to offer us eternal life, but his time on earth in the flesh was limited. He had to die, but he left something behind.

“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you." (John 14:16-20)

When Christ death and resurrection are complete, he leaves his disciples with the Holy Spirit of God to dwell in them forever. When we are born again and are baptized by the spirit, we become temples of the Holy Spirit built to glorify God with our entire being. We have been given life everlasting. We are the body of Christ; we are the church built to Glorify the Lord in the sanctuaries and out in the world.  Let's do it.

"Take my life and let it be all for you and for your glory, Take my life and let it be yours" - Glory to God Forever by Steve Fee

"It's not called talking to God, It's just crazy...crazy"

"It's not called talking to God. It's just crazy...crazy. And if you are hearing voices, you need help." ~ library patron

As I was sitting at the library this morning I heard these words from one of the patrons after expressing here frustration about someone who asked a friend if they had prayed about a rough situation they were going through. I do believe it is talking to God, but I agree that it is often the craziest thing to do.

Admittedly, prayer was and still is one of the biggest struggles I have in my spiritual walk. When God met me on an island in the Adirondacks about six years ago, I wasn't even a lukewarm Christian. I went to church and was even a part of the praise team, but for me it was an opportunity to be a part of the show. I could say that I went to church and I participated, but my faith was non-existent. I didn't read scripture or pray except before meals (sometimes), and hardly paid attention in church. I wasn't experiencing God in any way. After Christ grabbed hold of me I had no support structure or mentor to nurture my faith. Although my life started to turn around, I still fell short often. It was prayer that saved me.

After I shared my story at camp during that trip, I was prayed for by my counselor and other campers. My life was rocked and spun around. When one of my best friends died in a car accident it was prayer that got me through. When I was able to share my story fully with the people I trusted, it was prayer that gave me the confidence to live in the light. Since then, I've been able to pray with and encourage others and watch God shape His ministry at the college I attended and in my current ministry as a youth director. God has guided me through His spirit towards people to pray for or talk to. Prayer is the opportunity to be in constant communion with God, but it's just crazy.

It's hard for us, especially without "proof", to believe that our prayers can change things, to believe that God can reshape our entire world through a conversation with Him. This conversation can feel like we are talking to ourselves and we may even hear a voice in our head and yes, that means we need help. We lift our hearts to God in prayer and worship because we can't do this on our own. He desires our hearts and our lives. He wants to be in communion with us. Prayer is our opportunity. Through communion with God there is healing and restoration and true joy.

Prayer is crazy because our world tells us we need to do something tangible to fix things. Prayer is not a passive form of action. If we listen, God will direct our actions and make His will known to us. Prayer takes a lot of patience and a lot of listening. It's a crazy thing to do when the world tries to keep us in motion. My hope and prayer for you today is that you would believe in the power of prayer and that God would bless you through your communion with Him. If you have any prayer requests, post them here, in a facebook message, or the phone is always a good option. I would love to pray with you.